Autolycus: The Series: "Fire From Heaven"
by OmarSnake
Summary: Autolycus and Muran run afoul of some mysterious creatures...


LINER NOTE: This series follows the adventures of Autolycus, the King of Thieves, and Muran, a young Chinese bandit who he has reluctantly taken under his wing, as they travel the ancient world looking for treasures to steal and trouble to get into….  
  
  
  
  
  
FADE IN:  
  
We are looking from above at a campfire.  
  
CAMERA gradually pans down until we are on the level of the people sitting around it. A large, muscular man with long white hair sits waving his arms about. He has a thick beard and a scar over one eye. Though old, he is clearly still formidable. A group of five children around the fire are entranced by the story he is telling...  
  
"And that, my friends, is how we slew the wyrm of Anthrelces," he concludes. He speaks with a somewhat Germanic accent.  
  
"Wow," several of them say in unison.  
  
"Did you REALLY meet Hercules?" one boy, about 8 years old, asks.  
  
The man frowns a bit. "Of course I did, Bernat. What did I tell you about lying?"  
  
"Never lie," several of the children say in unison, reciting what they have learned. "Because every lie is another arrow that will be fired at you when you travel to your final reward."  
  
The man smiles broadly. "Exactly! So when I tell you that Hercules and Joxer worked alongside me to defeat the Wyrm, you believe it, understand?" he playfully pokes at Bernat with his thick finger, and Bernat giggles.  
  
"How did you get the scar?" a blonde-haired girl about 5 years old asks, pointing to the man's forehead.  
  
The man sits back. "I never told you that?"  
  
"I've heard it," Bernat says. "But I'd like to hear it again!"  
  
"Me too," one child says. "Please?", says another.  
  
"Does it involve Hercules too?" the last child, a redhaired boy about 7 years old, asks eagerly.  
  
"No, but it does involve another of the greatest heroes I ever had the pleasure to fight alongside," the man says proudly, then leans forward. "It was back before the wyrm, or the dragon of Mantoch, or even the great battle with Callisto I told you about last week....."  
  
FADE TO:  
  
Decades earlier. A figure is walking down a forest road at night. It is the same man, in his thirties. He is clad in somewhat ragged armor, which has clearly seen its share of battle. He is musclebound and has long, flowing light blond hair and a small goatee.  
  
"Well, Magda," he says, though there is no one with him, "I'm afraid I can't do without another horse. If only there were some other way to travel from one village to the next. But it takes so long on foot, and I worry about what evils I may be too late to... stop...."  
  
He looks upwards as a bright green meteorite flashes overhead.  
  
"By the gods!" he cries out, ducking his head as it goes past. "Magda, I think that thing is going to...." there is a loud boom in the distance... "hit."  
  
He picks up his pace, racing in the direction of the impact.  
  
CUT TO:  
  
Autolycus and Muran wander along on a forest road. It is nighttime.  
  
"Alright, kid," Autolycus says. "Pop quiz. What's the third law of thievery?"  
  
"Always know when to back off and pick another pocket," she says.  
  
He grins. "Good, good. You're a fast learner. By the time we find your mother, you may be the second-best thief in the land----" A bright meteorite flashes overhead.  
  
"Yaaah! What was THAT???" Muran yells.  
  
They watch it go down in the distance. After a moment's confusion, a revelation plays across Autolycus's face, and he grins.  
  
"A sky stone!" he says, breaking into a run. Muran joins him in running.  
  
"A what?" she asks.  
  
"You'll see," he says with a greedy smile.  
  
In a moment, they arrive at the edge of a huge impact crater. The musclebound man is already there, standing on the edge of the crater looking down.  
  
"Hey, no fair," Autolycus says, panting for breath after the long run.  
  
"Whoever you are, we saw it first."  
  
"Did you now?" the man asks, arching an eyebrow. "If that be the case, perhaps you can tell me what it is."  
  
Autolycus stands next to him and looks down in the crater; Muran looks around Autolycus's side. The hole extends across a radius of a hundred feet and down about twenty, and is still smouldering. In the center sits a greyish metallic object with green glowing lights on its extremities. It is about the size of a jet fighter, and its shape is almost organic. It is making a pulsating noise.  
  
Autolycus's eyes go wide and he exchanges a confused glance with the musclebound man.  
  
FADE OUT....OPENING CREDITS BEGIN. Scenes from various episodes run throughout the credits.  
  
VOICEOVER: "It is a time of myths and monsters. In all the land, the most daring thief was Autolycus. But he was no ordinary thief, and would help those in need, sometimes in spite of himself. A friend to the oppressed... a foe to the oppressors... a charming rogue... He is Autolycus, the King of Thieves!"  
  
FADE OUT VOICEOVER: "The Action Pack presentation of Autolycus: The King of Thieves is brought to you by Mazda!"  
  
  
  
ACT ONE  
  
FADE IN  
  
TITLE CARD: "FIRE FROM HEAVEN"  
  
SPECIAL GUEST STAR: FABIO AS EROICUS  
  
Autolycus, Muran and the musclebound man stare in disbelief. "That's a sky stone?" Muran asks.  
  
"No," Autolycus replies, a bit annoyed. "At least, I don't think so. Sky stones are usually only a few feet wide at most. Sometimes, you can find a beautiful gemstone in one, and get some dinars for it." He walks around the edge of the crater, trying to get a better look at the object. "There are legends that they're bits of rock from Olympus that get caught in the hooves of Apollos' stallions, and as they race across the sky they kick them off. But this.... I'd hate to see the horse that got THIS thing caught in its hoof."  
  
Autolycus starts to step forward into the crater, then pulls back. "Yeiiii... I can feel how hot that thing is from here!"  
  
"Perhaps we should wait until it cools down?" The musclebound man suggests helpfully.  
  
"Who are you, anyhow?" Autolycus replies, obviously skeptical of the man's intentions.  
  
"Eroicus," he responds, bowing with a bit of flourish. "A humble travelling adventurer, trying to rid the known world of evil. I saw the fire in the sky and worried it might be a dragon, or some other beast intent on attacking innocent people."  
  
"Uh-huh. And the thought of profit never crossed your mind?"  
  
"No, never. I need only the money to feed me, and keep Magda fit. The rest I give to the needy."  
  
"Magda?", Autolycus asks, glancing around to see if anyone else is in the area.  
  
Eroicus reaches into the scabbard on his back and unsheathes a gigantic bronze-colored sword. Autolycus and Muran both jump back.  
  
"This is Magda," Eroicus says proudly, holding it high.  
  
"Swell," Autolycus mutters, after a sigh of relief.  
  
FADE TO:  
  
It is still dark, but almost dawn. Eroicus, Autolycus and Muran sit around the edge of a flickering campfire, where Autolycus is finishing a rousing story.  
  
"So, you defeated the evil Amazon queen and kept her from getting the food of the gods?" Eroicus says to Autolycus, obviously impressed. "Well, I don't like to toot my own horn, but...." Autolycus shrugs in mock humility.  
  
"A most worthy adventure! I will tell it near and far!"  
  
"Are you a bard?" Muran asks.  
  
"Yes, as my father and mother were before me."  
  
"Nice of you to keep it in the family like that," Autolycus says. "And you can always make sure to play up your role in any adventure."  
  
"I wouldn't do that," Eroicus says, a bit perturbed. "I give credit where it's due, always. Anything else would be untruthful!"  
  
Autolycus leans back. "I couldn't agree more," he says, then abruptly trying to change the subject, throws in "Hey, let's check back on the giant sky rock, or whatever it is." He gets up, stretching as he walks toward the crater. "Still there." He holds out his hand and steps forward. "Still a bit hot, but nothing compared with last----"  
  
"HALT!!!!"  
  
The cry comes from the other edge of the crater, startling Autolycus and company. Eroicus starts to draw his sword.  
  
Two figures come at Autolycus. They are centurions, clad in metal armor vests and kilts, wielding swords and wearing helmets that obscure their faces. All of their equipment and clothing seems to be made of the same shiny black metal.  
  
"Step away from the artifact!" one says demandingly.  
  
"Hey, no problem," Autolycus says, stepping back briskly. "You mind telling me what it is?"  
  
The two centurions ignore the question and look around. "How long ago did this object land here?"  
  
"Several hours," Autolycus replies. "We've been waiting for it to cool down so we can get a closer look."  
  
"That won't be necessary," the second centurion says coldly.  
  
"Move along," the first one adds. "There's nothing to see here."  
  
"Nothing?" Muran asks incredulously. "You call that---"  
  
"Nothing... to... see...," the man repeats, more harshly.  
  
"Then who has already been down there?" Eroicus asks.  
  
"Whaaat?" the men spin around.  
  
A hatchway on the bottom of the object is open. Sandalprints lead down to it, and back away. There are other markings leading away from it as well, but they are less distinctly footprint-like, as if someone dragged a heavy object and it scraped the ground in two parallel paths as it went along. The centurions run down the incline of the crater, with Eroicus directly behind and Autolycus a few steps behind him. The centurions stop at the hatchway. "I'm going in," one says, and the other nods.  
  
After a moment, he calls out from inside the object, "All clear. They seem to be dead."  
  
The other centurion goes in, and Eroicus follows. "Maybe one of us should stay out here and stand guard," Autolycus offers.  
  
"But your servant girl is there for that purpose," Eroicus says.  
  
"She's not my... oh, alright, we might as well see what's in here." They duck into the object.  
  
CUT TO:  
  
the interior of the object. It is illuminated dimly, and pulsating noises come from the walls. "This looks like the inside of a house," Autolycus says curiously. "A remarkably creepy house, but a house nonetheless..." They come into the main chamber, where the two centurions stand over a console of some sort. "Something has been torn out here," one of them says to the other. The chamber has three chair-like, organic/metallic objects, positioned like the edges of a triangle. On one of them, Autolycus can barely make out a shape. He moves closer. It is brown and leathery, about four and a half feet tall. It looks like a cross between a shaved bear and a walnut. One gigantic eye stares dimly at the ceiling, and its spindly three-fingered arms flop over the sides of the chair. Nearby, another lies crumpled against the floor. Eroicus goes to it and turns it over, revealing another one of the giant, dead-pale eyes.  
  
"Ugh," Autolycus mutters, and the two centurions turn sharply. "You were told to move along!" one says.  
  
"What are these things?" Autolycus continues, ignoring their demands. "That is none of your concern."  
  
"Oh, yeah? They don't look too friendly to me, and I count three chairs but only two bodies. Either they had a spare seat for guests, or one of them isn't here."  
  
The centurions look at one another.  
  
CUT TO:  
  
A farmer, already at work in his field as the sun rises. There is a loud rustling at the nearby woods as birds fly out in a panic. The farmer looks that direction, curious. His dog starts barking ferociously, then runs away.  
  
"Stupid mongrel," the farmer says in disdain at his dog, then turns his attention back to the woods and lifts his hoe defensively. "Anyone there? I'm not afraid of you, whoever you are...."  
  
he moves closer. Something rustles through the bushes at the edge of the woods, and he jumps before regaining his composure. "This is my land, and...."  
  
He steps back, eyes wide with stark terror. He stumbles back, and we see his shadow as another shadow --- one bipedal, but not even vaguely human--- moves forward, its three-fingered hands grasping him by the throat. The shadows merge, and the inhuman shadow melts into the human one until it is the only one standing there...  
  
The farmer staggers forward, then looks around coldly, observing his surroundings. "Ro'ka sel'ek," he says in gutteral voice no human voicebox could make. His eyes have a curious stare, like that of a dead man... He tosses the hoe to the ground and walks past an ox, which rears back in fear and runs away. As he makes his way to his farmhouse, we FADE OUT.  
  
ACT TWO  
  
The centurions walk along the crater, carefully examining the footprints and nearby scratch-marks.  
  
"Judging the size of these sandals, we're looking for someone either short or thin," one says. "Not heavy, but not a child either."  
  
"What about these marks?" Autolycus asks, pointing to the scratch marks. The second centurion looks at him scornfully, then kneels to examine the marks. "Something was dragged along here. But not by whoever left the sandal marks, these prints aren't close enough together."  
  
"I have a theory....." Autolycus starts.  
  
"We don't care! You are not supposed to be here! You have been told...." Autolycus throws his hands in the air. "Okay, fine! I know when I'm not wanted." and strolls out of the crater to where Muran is waiting.  
  
"Kid," he whispers, "we gotta get out of here. There's some monster from inside that object, and I think it's on the loose in these woods."  
  
"A monster?" Muran asks. "Not a bat-thing?"  
  
"No, the bat-things are downright handsome compared with this one."  
  
Eroicus comes up on them, also having been shooed out of the crater by the centurions.  
  
"What transpires?" he asks, a bit too loudly for Autolycus' liking.  
  
"Eh? Oh, you mean 'what's going on'... I think one of those monsters is on the loose, and it's a good idea if we..."  
  
"Vanquish it!", Eroicus says, drawing his sword. "A worthy notion, brave friend."  
  
"Wait a minute," Muran says. "How do we know it's mean? For all we know, it could be harmless...."  
  
CUT TO:  
  
The farmer, his eyes more glazed over than before, shambles along a dirt path. He is carrying a pitchfork. Another person coming the other direction greets him. It is a large, barrel-chested man with a thick red beard.  
  
"Hello, Stamatios!" he calls out.  
  
The farmer turns his eyes dully on the other man.  
  
"How are you, this fine day?" the man continues. "Eh... looks like you're coming down with something...."  
  
"krO'u te...." the farmer starts, then pauses and concentrates. "I am feeling well. But your body looks much more healthy than mine...."  
  
The man laughs. "Well, I don't know about that!" he taps his belly. "A bit of a mead-belly I've got... You're lean, Stamatios, but you're wirey."  
  
The farmer steps closer. "Much more durable shell."  
  
The bearded man is confused. "What are you talking about, Stamatios???"  
  
The farmer is now face-to-face with the bearded man. "Much more durable," he repeats. "I'll take it."  
  
"Whaaat??"  
  
A spindly, three-fingered hand thrusts out of the farmer's chest, grabbing the bearded man around the throat. He screams and stumbles back. The creature keeps its grip on his throat, and is pulled out of the farmer's body with a "splorch" noise. In its wake, the farmer's body dissolves into a puddle of goo.  
  
The bearded man wrestles valiantly, and manages to get out of the creature's grip. He runs into the woods, and it follows, shuffling on feet that scrape along on the ground, leaving a scratched-out trail rather than a set of footprints.  
  
The bearded man runs until he is exhausted, then leans against a tree and looks behind him. There is no sign of the creature. "Perhaps... it... can't.. .run... that... fast...." he pants quietly, continuing to scan the area behind him.  
  
"kr'ot'ca beJue," says a voice from in front of him. The man turns back around and screams. The creature reaches out with a hand and grabs the beefy arm the man is bring up to punch at it. Its hand dissolves into his arm, and the bearded man screams in unfathomable agony....  
  
CUT TO:  
  
Eroicus strides confidently down the roadway. Autolycus and Muran walk along a bit behind him, glancing around.  
  
"So is it a creation of the gods, or something?" Muran asks.  
  
"I have no idea," Autolycus replies. "All I know is that the two bodies back there looked like something that had gone through the digestive system of a Cyclops. It won't be hard to recognize when we do come across it."  
  
"So, Autolycus," Eroicus says over his shoulder, "what do they call you?"  
  
"Eh?"  
  
"Well, I am known as Eroicus, Slayer of Beasts. And other roaming champions I've heard of usually have titles, like Xena, the Warrior Princess... Dier Dacchta, Spy Extraordinaire... Joxer the Mighty... Caybr the Pugilist... Hercules, the Son of Zeus... "  
  
"I get the idea," Autolycus interrupts, then proudly proclaims "I am... the King of Thieves."  
  
"No, seriously."  
  
"What do you mean, 'no, seriously'?"  
  
"Well, you're a hero, Autolycus, not some vile thief. I can see it in the glint in your eye, and your noble carriage. Mayhaps it is some clever ruse?"  
  
"Ruse?" Autolycus asks, a bit befuddled.  
  
"Yes. Like Dier Dacchta sometimes comes into the camps of malevolent warlords posing as a courtesan... You pretend to be a thief, so you can work your way into the nests of evil vipers and destroy them from within."  
  
"No, I'm really--"  
  
"A first-rate idea, Autolycus! Imagine, a hero of the people like you, having to pose as a simple pickpocket. Well, if it serves the greater good, all right, then... "King of Thieves' it shall be."  
  
Seeing that Autolycus is getting flustered by this line of conversation, Muran tries to change the subject. "How long have you been slaying beasts, Eroicus?"  
  
"It started when I was twelve. A centaur had been terrorizing my village, and had killed my father and brothers...."  
  
CUT BACK to the woods near them, as the bearded man watches them with glazed-over eyes...  
  
CUT TO:  
  
A small village. A lean man with scruffy blond hair and a disheveled outfit walks into a provisioner's store, carrying something about the size of a mailbox. He has it wrapped in cloth, and is struggling with it, but whether that's because it is particularly heavy or because the lean man is particularly a wimp is up to debate. He struggles up to the counter where the provisioner, a bald man with a handlebar mustache, watches warily. "What is it this time, Urelles?" the provisioner asks, already certain he's going to be unimpressed.  
  
"The biggest gem you've ever seen in your life," Urelles says, eagerly pulling back parts of the cloth.  
  
"That's what you said last week, and that turned out to be a piece of rock candy."  
  
"Trust me this time, alright?"  
  
"And a month ago, you promised me a baby dragon and brought an iguana you'd glued wings on the back of---"  
  
"That was a prank some former friends pulled on me! But this is legit! Swear on my mother's grave."  
  
"Your mother's still ali....what the Hades is THAT?"  
  
As Urelles pulls back the last swab of cloth, a green glow fills the store. They are staring down at a configuration of metal and tubing, with a green glowing gem in the center. The gem is about the size of two softballs, and is oval-shaped. There are three dozen small buttons lined along the bottom edge of the casing, and the object is emitting a soft hum.  
  
Urelles, his face illuminated by the green glow, looks up at the provisioner and grins. "What'll ya give me for it?"  
  
FADE OUT  
  
ACT THREE  
  
FADE IN  
  
The children sit around the campfire, staring entranced at old Eroicus as he tells the story.  
  
"What was it?" one girl asks eagerly. "What did Urelles find?"  
  
"In due time, Cheria," Eroicus says patiently. "At this time, Autolycus, Muran and I were approaching the village. We didn't suspect what awaited us...."  
  
FADE TO:  
  
The trio walking into the village.  
  
"Pardon me, kind ma'am," Eroicus says to an elderly washerwoman walking past. "Can you tell me if you have seen, or heard any reports of anyone else seeing, a four and a half foot tall wrinkly brown monster with one eye?"  
  
The woman looks uncertainly at Eroicus, snorts derisively, and walks away.  
  
"Ah, well," Eroicus says, nonplussed, "She must not have seen anything."  
  
"Good guess," Autolycus mutters sarcastically. "Now, this is the only village in these woods. If the monster is trying to avoid contact, this will be the last place it comes...." at this point, the glazed-eyed bearded man walks through where the trio are blocking pedestrian traffic moving up and down the road.  
  
"Pardon me," he says as he walks past.  
  
"No problem," Autolycus says, stepping aside, then continues. "But it may be looking for something, in which case it WOULD come here..."  
  
"What's going on over there?" Muran interrupts. Autolycus looks in the direction she is pointing. A crowd is gathered around a temple, chanting frenziedly.  
  
"Ceremonial chanting," Eroicus replies.  
  
Muran frowns. "I know THAT, but why? And could it attract the monster?"  
  
Autolycus steps forward and notices a statue on top of the temple entrance. "It's a temple to Apollo... Maybe that thing does have something to do with the legends of the sky stones, after all."  
  
As they get closer, they notice a green glow coming out the windows of the temple.  
  
"The same emerald light that shone on the artifact back there," Eroicus says, as if his companions needed to have it pointed out to them. They reach the edge of the crowd and try to get a better look.  
  
Just inside the temple doors, a priest stands beside the provisioner, who grins broadly. "Grennis here has kindly offered to give us this sculpture, containing one of Apollo's famed sky stones..." he motions to the object Urelles had sold the merchant earlier..."in exchange for repayment of his costs in procuring it. Citizens, we will be taking donations to raise the 1,000 dinars."  
  
Urelles stands at the edge of the crowd, muttering to himself "1,000 dinars. Cheap bastard, only gave me 100..."  
  
"One hundred what, Urelles?" Autolycus asks. Urelles spins around, shocked someone recognizes him.  
  
"Autolycus! How's it going, old friend!" he starts to embrace Autolycus, who pushes his arms away.  
  
"Just fine... old friend. What do you have to do with this?"  
  
"I found the sky stone there."  
  
"Found it?"  
  
"Well... it was in a large structure at the bottom of a crater.... Along with some bodies that had been burned beyond recognition. It took a lot of courage for me to get in and out of there, you know..."  
  
Autolycus rolls his eyes. "Muran, this is Urelles. If you turn out like him, I'll deny having ever talked to you, let alone having trained you." Urelles shakes Muran's hand. "He's just teasing me," he explains.  
  
"No, I'm not," Autolycus replies. "Urelles is a scavenger rat. The lowest form of thief. No talent necessary. No finesse, nothing."  
  
"You're just jealous because I have better luck stumbling across treasures than you have..."  
  
Meanwhile, the bearded man pushes his way through the crowd and, seeing the 'sculpture', grins wickedly. He moves forward.  
  
"No, citizen, you can't touch it," the priest says, gently pushing him back. The bearded man turns and sneers at the priest.  
  
"Qul ta Boq!" he says as the three-fingered hand bursts out of his chest. The fingers strike the priest's forehead. The crowd rears back in shock as a sizzling, gurgling noise fills the now otherwise-silent air. The priest falls to the side, three egg-sized burn marks visible on his forehead. He is dead.  
  
The crowd runs in a panic, and the provisioner joins them, leaving the sculpture behind. The creature forces its way out of the body of the bearded man, which melts in a disgusting blob. It picks up the sculpture and turns.  
  
Not everyone has run away. Autolycus, Muran and Eroicus stand there. Urelles hides behind Eroicus' large frame, glancing around nervously. Muran has her miniature crossbow ready and Eroicus has drawn his sword. "Drop it, monster," Eroicus says.  
  
The creature puts the sculpture aside and rushes at him, and Eroicus narrowly dodges it.  
  
"It moves faster than I thought!" Autolycus says as he throws his grappling hook to wrap around the statue of Apollo atop the temple.  
  
Eroicus and the creature circle each other. Each tries to strike at the other--- Eroicus swinging his sword, the creature waving its long, spindly arms--- but neither makes contact.  
  
Autolycus swings up the steps into the temple, landing beside the sculpture. He picks it up and swings onto the rooftop.  
  
The creature spins around and hisses "Bor je'tat!" as it looks up at him. It races at the wall of the temple, extending its arms.  
  
"Come and get me, ugly," Autolycus taunts.  
  
The creature's fingers burn into the walls of the temple, creating handholds that it uses to climb up the side of the wall.  
  
"I didn't mean that literally," Autolycus says. The creature gets up on the roof and rushes at Autolycus, who dodges around the statue of Apollo.  
  
"Eroicus... catch!" Autolycus shouts, throwing the 'sculpture' over the edge of the building. Below, Eroicus drops his sword and dives forward, narrowly catching the object before it can smash against the ground. The creature spins around and looks down at him, cursing in its inhuman language.  
  
"Want to join him?" Autolycus says, kicking the monster in the back. It falls forward, and lands with a sickening thud on the stone steps of the temple twenty feet below.  
  
Eroicus retrieves his sword and moves slowly toward the creature. It is still breathing.  
  
He looks back over his shoulder as Urelles picks up the 'sculpture' and starts to run away. Autolycus has come back down to street level, and he and Eroicus start to run after Urelles. Directly in front of Urelles are the two centurions, swords drawn. "Stop!" one yells, and Urelles immediately stops.  
  
"Good of you to arrive, but I'm afraid you have missed a worthy battle," Eroicus says, striding back to the unconscious creature and readying his sword. "I shall cleave the foul beast in two before it awakes."  
  
As he lifts the sword, one of the centurions yells "No!... We need to take the creature."  
  
"And that object," says the other, pointing to the sculpture in Urelles' hands. One centurion walks forward, past Eroicus, and leans over to pick up the unconscious creature, while the other yanks the sculpture out of Urelles' grasp.  
  
"Thank you for your cooperation," the first centurion says as they head down the road away from the village.  
  
Autolycus comes back down to street level and exchanges a confused glance with Muran.  
  
"I wonder what that was all about," she says.  
  
"I have no idea."  
  
CUT BACK TO the centurions. The unconscious creature in the arms of the first centurion stirs. It seems panicked at first.  
  
"Tor Dor Nakatay," the centurion says in a gutteral voice no human voicebox could make. "Tor Dor Nakatay," the creature responds.  
  
FADE OUT  
  
ACT FOUR  
  
FADE IN:  
  
The children continue to listen eagerly to old Eroicus's story. "Did you ever find out what those centurions did with the monster? Or where it came from?" one asks.  
  
"And you still haven't told us about the scar," another insists.  
  
"I'm getting to that part," Eroicus says, grinning at their youthful exuberance and curiosity.  
  
FADE BACK TO:  
  
Autolycus, Muran, Eroicus and Urelles walking along.  
  
"Okay, I think they're sentries of a nearby kingdom with a crazed wizard who created that monster," Autolycus theorizes. "They've been hunting for it, and that object was something used to keep it under control."  
  
"Possible, but I still say they were emissaries of the gods," Eroicus says. "The monster may have been some sort of unfinished creation. It doesn't exactly look... complete."  
  
"Maybe the big object you found them in was some sort of vessel, and the monster came from somewhere far away," Muran offers. "And those men work for some ruler who doesn't want the general public to find out, because he or she's worried they would panic if they knew about the monsters, so they cover up the truth." She pauses, then adds excitedly, "And maybe that statue-thing they took was the vessel's power source or something!"  
  
"Yeah, right," Urelles scoffs. "I doubt it'll get very far without this." He holds up one segment of the green crystal that was at the center of the object. "The crystal was divided into three parts. I decided to keep one... as a souvenir."  
  
"Oh, for the love of Zeus!" Autolycus bellows. "What if they can't control the monster without that thing?"  
  
"Or they can't get back to Olympus," Eroicus adds.  
  
Autolycus snatches the crystal out of Urelles's hands. "We have to get it back to them, just in case."  
  
"But it could be worth something!" Urelles protests.  
  
"Lives are at stake!" Muran says.  
  
"But... it could be WORTH something."  
  
Urelles watches, dejected, as the trio race away from him, heading in the direction the centurions went.  
  
CUT TO:  
  
The trio arrive back at the crater site. Autolycus is winded, and Muran is somewhat, but Eroicus shows no signs of exhaustion. "I will go in first," he says, heading down into the crater toward the large object. "In case the monster got out of control and slew those centurions, my armor will protect me from its first strike!"  
  
"Be my guest," Autolycus says, following.  
  
They enter the hatchway.  
  
INTERIOR OF THE OBJECT:  
  
The interior is not bright, but is much less dimly lit than before. Eroicus stalks down the hallway to the central chamber, his sword drawn and ready. Autolycus is second, and Muran, looking around in wonder at the bizarre interior, takes up the rear. Eroicus emerges into the main chamber. The centurions stand at a console, the sculpture in front of them. The creature is seated in front of them, trying to pull tubes and rearrange the position of the crystal.  
  
"Kek to vereabi, kaNa" it says to them. "Was Ra Toola." They all seem intent on what is going on, and don't notice people coming in behind them. "Why do you not have that thing in chains?" Eroicus asks. The centurions spin around, swords ready.  
  
"Hold, friends," Eroicus says, holding his sword to his side. "We merely found something you may need..."  
  
"And what would that be?" one centurion asks coldly.  
  
"This, perhaps?" Autolycus says, holding up the crystal piece.  
  
The centurions and the creature stare at it in pleased disbelief.  
  
"Yes, we need that!" the second centurion says.  
  
"Glad we could... help..." Autolycus starts to say, then trails off as he glances around the chamber. "Hey, where are the bodies of the other two monsters?"  
  
The first centurion rushes at him. Autolycus leaps over a console. Meanwhile, Eroicus readies his sword and circles around the second centurion. "Bor je'tat!", the centurion hisses.  
  
The monster races to a far wall and pulls open a small compartment. It reaches in and pulls out a grey metallic object about eight inches long with three finger holes and a jagged shaft. It turns and aims the object at Autolycus, who is executing a spin-kick at the first centurion.  
  
A beam of lime-green energy flashes past Autolycus, cutting through the wall behind him. "Uh-oh," he says, then ducks under the console.  
  
The creature turns its aim toward Eroicus when... it is struck by something and staggers back. An arrow sticks out of its chest. Muran reloads her miniature crossbow and fires again. The second arrow hits the metallic object, knocking it out of the creature's hand. The creature stumbles forward and falls on its face. By the time it hits the floor, it starts to melt.  
  
Eroicus and the second centurion are engaged in a fierce swordfight. As they cross blades, the centurion sneers. A three-fingered hand bursts out of his chest and grabs Eroicus' arm. Eroicus pulls back with all his might, and another creature emerges from the quickly-melting body of the centurion. It scrambles for the metallic object the first creature dropped, grabs it, spins, and fires it. Eroicus throws his sword up and deflects the blast.  
  
The creature lowers the object, staring at Eroicus.  
  
"Thought your evil magic would destroy Magda, eh?" Eroicus says, smiling. "You didn't reckon on the fact that she's magic too!" He swings the sword, cutting the front half of the metallic object off. A burst of green energy flashes through the chamber, and miniature streams of light punch holes in the creature. Eroicus swings the sword to deflect these blasts, but one gets by and knocks him to the ground.  
  
Meanwhile, Autolycus leaps from one console to another to avoid the first centurion's sword. "So, you got one of those uglies inside you too?" he taunts it.  
  
"Bej ko sa!" It screams, slashing wildly to no avail. There is a whizzing sound followed by a soft thump. The centurion looks back. A small arrow is imbedded in its shoulder. Muran stands at the far end of the chamber.  
  
"Quo Za be!" It yells, and starts towards her.  
  
"I don't think so," Autolycus says, leaping up to grab hold of scaffolding that runs along the top of the chamber. He swings on it, letting go so his feet hit the centurion hard in the back. Autolycus then executes a roll to get over to the unconscious Eroicus and reaches for his sword.  
  
The centurion stumbles to his feet. Autolycus tries to lift Eroicus's sword, and is shocked at how heavy it is. "How... can... he.. .carry this damned thing with one hand?" He wonders, using both arms to lift it. He thrusts it forward as the centurion rushes at him. The centurion stumbles back, the sword sticking through his chest.  
  
He looks up at Autolycus in disbelief. "Please... no..." he says, blood trickling out of his mouth. "We... cannot be defeated by you primit...ives...." it falls forward.  
  
Autolycus drops the sword and checks on Eroicus. "He's fine," he says to Muran. "Nasty scar on his forehead, but that's about it."  
  
As the fallen centurion starts to dissolve, he reaches up with great effort and slaps his hand on a triangular knob on one of the consoles, turning it. The lights flicker.  
  
"Mo xa reveso," he says derisively, smiling briefly before his features melt away.  
  
Autolycus and Muran exchange worried glances. "What did it say?" she asks. "I have no idea, kid."  
  
A stilted voice booms out from speakers above.. " kre-uUh ba. Buj ta-ool." Autolycus spins. "Not another one!" but he doesn't see anything.  
  
"Tor Dor Nakatay," the voice continues. There is a shrill screech, and the tone of the voice becomes more commanding. "Buj. Naq. Wot."  
  
The consoles nearby burst forth in a shower of sparks and the throbbing noise in the background gets louder.  
  
"That can't be good," Autolycus says. "Help me get this big lug outta here!" They grab Eroicus and drag him out.  
  
"To. Kar. De.," the stilted voice continues.  
  
"What about his sword?" Muran asks.  
  
"We can't carry both, trust me."  
  
"Xa. Tel. Bay..." the voice continues as they head out the hatchway. They scramble up the crater as explosions of green energy rock the large object. They dive for cover as a final, devastating explosion rumbles through the forest.  
  
Eroicus stirs. He feels the blood trickling down his forehead, then looks around. "Where's Magda?"  
  
"What, your sword?" Autolycus asks. "Sorry, but we had to leave it behind. It musta blown up when that structure exploded."  
  
They look down in the crater. There are barely any remains of the structure at all; most of it has vaporized. But sitting amid the smouldering shreds is the sword, intact and glistening.  
  
Autolycus and Muran stare, mouths wide open with astonishment, as Eroicus strides down into the crater and retrieves the sword.  
  
"Missed me?" Eroicus asks the sword as he holds it up, smiling.  
  
FADE TO:  
  
Old Eroicus and the children.  
  
"And that was the first of many times I had the pleasure to fight alongside Autolycus," he concludes. "Not only that, but I got to meet Muran ten years before... well, you all know THAT story, of course."  
  
"Yeah, but can you tell it? You're so good at telling stories." one boy says.  
  
"Perhaps tomorrow night. I'm old, and I need my rest."  
  
"Did you ever find out what the monsters were, and where they came from?" a girl asks.  
  
"No, we never did," Eroicus says. "And I doubt we ever will." THE CAMERA PANS UP to the night sky. Several green meteorites streak overhead as we...  
  
FADE OUT.  
  
No Men in Black (armor, that is) were harmed during the making of this episode.  
  
CODA  
  
Bruce Campbell standing in the halls of the Library of Congress. He is dressed snazzily. "Hi, I'm Bruce Campbell. If you would like to learn more about the Mortaxan aliens depicted in tonight's episode of Autolycus: The King of Thieves, recommended reading includes.." He holds up a paperback book... "War of the Worlds: The Resurrection" by J.M. Dillard."  
  
The camera focuses on him and he grins devilishly. "You see, the writer of tonight's episode depicted an advance scout party of the alien race depicted in the short-lived Paramount syndicated TV series "War of the Worlds", which you can catch occasionally on the Sci-Fi Channel. Since the ratings of that series never amounted to anything approximating the Action Pack ratings, we knew that most viewers would not realize that OmarSnake was ripping of--- err, paying homage to that series."  
  
Back to the distant shot. Bruce holds a huge tome on copyright law. "On behalf of the Library of Congress, this is Bruce Campbell inviting you to read more about it."  
  
FADE OUT 


End file.
